I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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