I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
