your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
