Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
