i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
