I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
my poor anus
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
