So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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