Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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