The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
