nut hugger
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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