Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
