She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
