return my video game
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
