I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i now understand why vodka
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
