Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
