Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
