If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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