Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
