There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Houston, we have a squirter
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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