I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
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