do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the day after is always just damage control
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
