I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
