Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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