You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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