I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize