The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
