Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
