Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
