Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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