I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
