Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
