I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
