NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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