look no pants
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
