he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
