I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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