i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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