Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
