Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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