Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
