the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
