My first STD was from a foam party
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
