So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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