Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
