do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
