He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
