Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
