Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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