she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
