ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
