It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
