can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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